House Hunting

Well, this week, along with packing, we have been house hunting. No, we are not moving in with Mom. I just wouldn't be able to take that kind of abuse all the time. This is not the mother I've known all my life. I'm suspecting that she is having dementia problems or the beginnings of Alzheimer's as my friend Sarah pointed out. Sarah is a nurse and I'm sure she could be right. The anger, the childish behavior and the way she is treating everyone is just not like her. She has a different favorite person everyday of the week.

Now, to tell you about hubby's and my experience house hunting. We have looked at about a dozen places. Out of that number, I would probably only live in two of them. One is a beautiful little cottage. It has a storage shed, a workshop, four bedrooms, a huge pantry, all appliances included and a freezer. It has lots of cupboard and storing space. It is $1050 per month. That is high for us, but it is to die for. The second place that was acceptable was a townhouse. 3 bedrooms, an unfinished basement, one full bath, two 2 piece baths, a pantry and carpeting, which I'm not keen on. Too much vacuuming, which I can't do because of my spinal injury. Hubby is not real faithful about vacuuming. We can take Dakota to both of these places.

Other places we have looked at are semi detached houses, townhouses and single family dwellings. We also looked at one apartment in a building. Most of these were more than the two above and many of them were in deplorable condition. They still want $850 to $950 a month plus utilities. In two of those places the floors were only half there, tiles were torn up, holes in the walls and other damage done by tenants. One man wanted me to move in to a place that was filthy, clean it, lay a new floor and paint the entire semi and didn't want to allow us anything on the rent. Afraid not.

So the search goes on. There is a perfect house out there for us somewhere and we're hoping it shows itself before the end of September. That is when we have to be out of here.

Going With the Flow

Life is an adventure, isn't it? Well, mine has been. Seems I go from one thing to another or sometimes from ten things to another. Everything happens at once some times. What's that old saying? It never rains but what it pours?

Mom and I have been very close most of my life. We used to have the odd disagreement when I was a teen, but never since I've been an adult. Now within two weeks, we've had three disagreements and one was quiet hot and heavy. The reason for this is that Mom is having trouble downsizing her house. We've found that when her roof leaked and was replaced five years ago, that the downstairs room we were going to be using for a bedroom had never been properly cleaned. The carpet and the walls both had mold on them. We ripped up the carpet, treated the walls for mold, sealed the area, as instructed by a mold expert, and laid a beautiful new wood floor. All Mom did the entire time was criticize hubby and Brandon on the job they were doing, which was an excellent job. The room was very crooked and difficult to get perfect. Mom knows this. She and Dad practically build their home from the ground up and she knows that today's houses are not square or level. That was ignored and no one said a word.

Last week, Mom and I had words over a box of newspaper that she wanted to hoard. I told her it had to go into the garbage. That made her very angry. Now this newspaper smelled musty and was nasty. It was not something she could reuse. I took the box from her and put it into the garbage bag and she blew up.

The next disagreement was about a bunch of little fabric pieces no bigger than an inch square. She had a huge plastic bag of them. I told her they were absolutely no good. She said she knew someone who would use them and I told her to give them to that person then because she had no room for them. She won that round. They are still sitting in the family room, which is huge and it's piled halfway to the ceiling with fabric, craft items and things she will never use.

Round three was the other day when she tried to save plastic bags, greeting card boxes and more newspaper. We had quite a disagreement on that one because some of them were moldy. We also found that the laundry room has mold all down the north wall, which can be easily treated because it is cement. However, I'm to the point of giving up.

Mom wanted to stay in her home and was hoping we could help her out. I'm not sure I'm willing to do that any longer, because she is being unreasonable and not making good choices, or for that matter, any choices. She is just clinging to mildewed and moldy items and moving them from one room in the house to another. Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated.

My Weight Battle

Last year I lost 26 lbs. between December and April when I had my heart attack and subsequent bypass surgery. Because I was inactive for so long during the recuperation process, I gained it all back and a few lbs. to boot. Some of it was also from water retention. We had a terrible time getting my meds right. I was either retaining fluid or I was passing out from too many meds. At this time the meds are working perfectly and I am beginning to lose weight again. Over the last few months, I have lost 6 lbs., but it's coming off very slowly. That isn't a bad thing, it's just annoying to get on the scales week after week and see no difference in the numbers. This week, however, I did lose another lb., which is great. So the battle continues. All I can do is continue to try. I'm eating better and have a lot more energy and though the lbs., are coming off slowly, I am losing inches.

Why I'm Downsizing Two Houses

In the previous post I forgot to mention why I'm downsizing two houses at once. The reason is we're moving into Mom's. We will be living in the basement with a bedroom, living room, bathroom and a huge laundry room that we're hoping to divide to provide us with a kitchen. There is already a stove in there that Mom uses for making family dinners. So we will only need a refrigerator and since our stove has seen better days, we won't be taking it. We will also sell our washer and dryer that is old. Mom's is only a few years old.

It's been most difficult getting Mom to part with any of her hoard. Her house is not dirty but she has stacks of fabric as described in the last post. She was brought up during the depression and saves everything, as she was taught to. String, plastic bags and everything else that she might need is saved. I have talked her into parting with some of the stuff.

The thing that really scares me is that Mom hoards food. Her freezer is full to the brim and much of it is freezer burned. She cooks that and eats it and this frightens me. Who knows how long it's been there? I told her I was cleaning it and the freezer in the refrigerator out when I got moved in and she was a little put-out. I explained that she couldn't eat this stuff and she told me she's been doing it for year. I explained that I'm not having people say that I lived there and she ate food that wasn't healthy. She stopped arguing at that point. Between us we can manage just fine financially by sharing costs.

The other reason we are moving in with Mom is because she is getting really forgetful. Twice lately she's had a fire on the stove and I found out when we were discussing bills and how we would split the cost that she's been paying two companies for her hot water tank. I'm not sure how that happened, nor do we know how long she's been doing that. I'm wondering what else she is paying that she shouldn't be. Time will tell.

It's not going to be easy living with Mom. Since her last stroke she has changed. Always the easy going person, she has become assertive and stubborn. This isn't the Mom I've always known and it will be a challenge for me as well as for hubby.

Another thing I dislike about the move is that we're moving from a really green area with a park across the street, a creek and lots of animals and birds. Mom's is in the north end of the city and is supposed to be the better part of town, yet there is no green space near her and all you see when you look out the window is buildings. Not my choice but sometimes in life we have to accept change that we don't like. This will be quite an adventure.

Today I will be stripping wallpaper at Mom's. I wish you were here, Pea, to lend me a hand. LOL I've rented a steamer though, so it shouldn't be too bad. I will try to remember my camera and tell you all about it.